40+ Hilarious Jokes That Would Impress Anyone With How Outstanding They Are

You Gotta Play Dirty To Win

In all seriousness, however, we do have to give some credit to this Twitter user and her crew for their wit. “You have to play dirty to win.” If we’re being completely honest, that is undoubtedly one of the smartest strategies for winning a game.

Self-Deprecation At Its Finest

We’d like to take this opportunity to encourage each and every one of you to love yourself unconditionally, even though we can only assume that Twitter user @ChrisPurchase doesn’t really hate himself that much. We’re done now, all right? back to the regularly scheduled program.

Rightfully Taking Back What’s Yours

She not only found her bicycle, but she also reclaimed what was rightly hers by stealing it back from the guy who had originally taken it from her. And judging by how proud she seemed to be of herself. Yes! Girl, you rock!

You Show ‘Em, Girl!

That says what exactly? Does that say, “Pharm. D.”? Indeed, it does. Hey, guys, come to think of it. You shouldn’t be concerned at all. If she wants to, this woman is wealthy enough to buy a thousand blankets and leave the heat on all the time.

Social Distancing

There’s no need to act so defensively, by which we mean. He might have just been attempting to lighten the mood in these challenging times. However, we believe you responded to the query; undoubtedly, something caused you to lose it.

Serves Them Right

But it is completely ludicrous to send a man home for wearing shorts when the ambient temperature is 86 degrees Fahrenheit. What did he do then? Of course, he dressed perfectly appropriately when he arrived back at work. And even though the outfit might not be the most attractive, we believe this guy demonstrated his point.

Ruff Life? Nope.

And we simply cannot deny how much our hearts are warmed by this tiny compact mattress. It’s just too cute. This store deserves praise without a doubt. We salute you with our hats off!

Marcel, Is That You?

What an incredible sight that must have been; we only wish we could have witnessed it in person. Even so, we can’t help but wonder whether this tiny mastermind in question didn’t ultimately get away. Let’s just hope that he is having the time of his life, wherever he may be.

Anti Backpacks

Do you really expect them to visit their locker repeatedly during each period? Think that’s a little ineffective? And while this boy’s method of making his argument may not have been the most practical, we believe everyone understood it, including the administration.

There Will Be No Such Language In This House!

It makes sense that Twitter user @MVPJunkie’s parents wanted to discipline him for using foul language because it is their duty to instill moral values in him, but we also can’t hold him responsible for what he did.

Deal Or No Deal?

If he’s willing to toss away all of Papa John’s pizza in exchange for a follow-up request from Pizza Hut, perhaps he doesn’t really appreciate the restaurant that much. Whatever the case, we appreciate Pizza Hut’s one-word, mafia-style reaction to this offer since it is brief and to the point, much like this Twitter user.

The Force Is Strong With This One

Although dropping a glass-covered smartphone is never fun, this man made the most of the circumstances. Yes, he may have been somewhat fortunate in how the screen broke, but he is still responsible for the magnificent Star Wars concept.

Two For The Price Of Two!

After all, they ought to have given the sign a closer look. In any event, it’s unclear to us what the restaurant was hoping to accomplish by taking this action. Perhaps they were conducting a study to determine the proportion of people who would interpret the sign incorrectly.

Just Returning The Favor

Clearly, getting even was the #1 priority for this person. He gets bitten by a poisonous snake, therefore it only seems sensible that he repays the favor by killing the cobra! What a story, sheesh, are we right? It doesn’t get much wilder than that, in our opinion.

Let Me Out!

Of course, we can only presume that at first, when they heard the man’s voice demanding to be released from his casket, these mourners freaked out. However, after they realized that it was his last joke, they could relax and even laugh in his honor.

Abra Cadabra!

Even if that means someone stealing your credit card, you should be ready for anything and everything if you’re trying to perform magic for an audience. Let’s just hope that any unsuspecting person whose credit card is taken while they are performing a magic trick has the foresight to get it back.

Buzz, Buzz

Even though we’re not entirely sure why this guy spent so much money on a suit like that, at least he knows he’ll be protected if he ever finds himself in a situation with bees.

Keep Going And Going

Since they have this example to refer to, they won’t ever need to come up with this kind of idea again. After all, not many people would do so on the spur of the moment.

Scissors Cut Paper

Naturally, @Alpharad will defeat you since he can actually predict your next move before you do. We aren’t sure whether to remark that @LegalizeWuhu is just stupid or that @Alpharad is just plain brilliant at this time.

I’m A Genie In A Bottle,

It’s not his first time, to put it another way. Many people just like you have been catered to by this magical creature that you were so fortunate to meet. In essence, he understands the game and is a much better player than you are.

The Next Step In Evolution

Students now have yet another tip from @ bonitamica to make their life even easier. However, we shouldn’t be whining. Even when our parents were at school, they didn’t have access to computers. That’s right, kids, all of our parents’ essays had to be written by hand.

Big Mac Ish But Flame Grilled, Of Course

Do you enjoy Burger King? Great. Do you enjoy McDonald’s? also fantastic Nevertheless, we find it amusing how much slack BK decided to give Micky D’s after the latter lost a trademark dispute with the EU over the Big Mac.

iPhone 7

We assume that the last one was included in the bundle as payment. And while this poor woman may not have received an iPhone 7 in particular, she did receive a few things that, when added together, total seven, thus…

Get Your Finger Out Of My Face

Even though the whole thing may have begun with this guy correcting his feline friend, the owner was immediately put in his place. It’s obvious that this cat thinks for himself, and as a result, no one can order him around. Hopefully, that owner of his took something away from the experience.

Treat Others How You Wanted To Be Treated

He wasn’t going to sit around and accept that type of abuse, after all. Seriously, folks, we are aware that this may not necessarily be a true story. But take it as a reminder to show respect to the people in your life.

Now, That’s What We Call Antisocial

But the question that remains is, how was she discovered? Was she caught telling a lie or did she come up with the tale on her own? Whatever the situation, we can only hope that she is simply going about her business and welcoming whoever she pleases.

I Love Myself

However, despite its poor reputation, Wikipedia is a very well-liked online encyclopedia. In other words, they aren’t wholly inaccurate in how they describe themselves.

A Gesture Of Friendship

Now, we are left to ponder how the US Ambassador discovered that the carved US Seal had a listening device. Was he simply cunning enough to figure it out on his own, or did someone tip him off? Given that it took seven years to reveal this important secret, perhaps he wasn’t all that smart after all.

See The Individual

Yes, Old Bay made a risky decision, but we also can’t help but admire the brand’s ingenuity in coming up with this clever marketing ploy. In all honesty, Old Bay gets the win; 10 points for you!

Man Sues Himself & Wins

If we didn’t already understand what luck was, we do so now. Even with that type of luck, we still have to give Mr. Larry Rutman credit for being proactive by purchasing insurance in case the unthinkable were to occur. I wonder whether this man is clairvoyant.

This Is How We Crush Your Hopes & Dreams

Why even have the category listed as an option if you don’t have any headsets priced under $100? All you’re doing is deceiving potential buyers into thinking they won’t need to spend a lot of money on a good pair of headphones. Best Buy, hurry up.

I’ll Remove It

Nevertheless, the final message in this entire interaction made us chuckle. The guy couldn’t help himself even though he was pushing his luck by still messaging the unfortunate woman. However, it doesn’t seem like the dialogue continued further than that.

I Wouldn’t Recommend It

They may have taken a while, but we would have needed twice as long. In any event, this individual is correct. Even though it is feasible to create an entire paragraph without using the letter “A,” it often doesn’t flow very well.

Where’s Your Homework?

Yes, students should do their assignments without hesitation, but if they are supposed to keep up with every class, shouldn’t professors also be expected to keep up with each and every student? We’re just kidding, I guess. Working with youngsters who are just trying to find their way in the world makes teaching a difficult job.

Frozen Water Isn’t A Liquid

You must remove all outer layers of clothing, as well as your shoes, and discard everything that doesn’t adhere to the rules. We acknowledge that these precautions are taken by airports to ensure everyone’s safety, but that doesn’t make having to throw away your water bottle any less annoying. Therefore, we genuinely bow down to this lady.

Dinner’s On Me

Even then, we have to recognize that this guy’s adversary is a beast. He was aware of how to manipulate this man, and he succeeded in doing so. However, it’s obvious that @squidslippers also believed that his opponent made a great play because he actually wrote about it.

Thank Goodness For Leap Years!

If you don’t have a personal account, you might be a part of a family plan or perhaps just use a friend’s. Having said that, if Twitter user @oamirhisyam can think of this, we can only speculate as to what else he has planned.

What’s The WiFi Password?

Having said that, we can all appear a little frantic when attempting to obtain the WiFi password. Or the barman is just a really clever fella who knows how to finesse his way into making a few extra bucks, and that’s why Ian here didn’t realize that the actual password was “youneedtobuyadrinkfirst.”

You Better Shape Up

You are a powerful, independent lady who doesn’t require anyone or anything to continue living the finest life possible. And after hearing the sage advice of Queen B, that is undoubtedly how this mama bear felt. The father of @pettylifetm had better get in shape or be prepared for what’s coming!

The Friend Zone Diss

How offensive. Fine. We’re only here as friends, right? So, honey, I suppose that means you are responsible for paying your own bill.

Sorry, Mom!

After all, if she had to use this kind of strategy, it was obvious that the man was grating at her. She then took the actions she believed would result in his release.

Punctuation Is Key

If this guy hadn’t hidden his tracks with a punctuation mark, things might have gotten really awkward. Fortunately, he was astute enough to prevent the embarrassing situation of almost admitting that he has a crush on the girl he is texting.

The Perfect Mask Doesn’t Exi—

Perhaps wearing this mask will actually inspire everyone to take precautions to safeguard not just themselves but also those around them. There are several options if the color is what’s really keeping you from purchasing one of these. Take your pick, please!